i read

The Danish philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard, defines dread as the knowledge of what you must do to prove you’re free, even if it will destroy you. His example is Adam in the Garden of Eden, happy and content until God shows him the Tree of Knowledge and says, “Don’t eat this.” Now, Adam is no longer free. Thee is one rule he can break, hemust break to prove his freedom, even if it destroys him. Kierkegaard says the moment we are forbidden to do something, we will do it. It is in- evitable. Monkey think, monkey do. According to Kierkegaard, the person who allows the law to control his life, who says the possible isn’t possible just because it’s illegal, is leading the inauthentic life.

Sketch. My studying is but a preparation for an unseen result. I can't do this, I can't do that. I'm going crazy, everything makes me go crazy. I'll lose my mind before I do this, I'll do that before I lose my mind. I really want this, but I'm going to do that. I'm pretending. So are you. I'm scared. Shit-less. Life life life. Will anything take away the fear? No.

I'm confused
You're confused
We're all confused and amused and diffused.
howl howl howl
hardy har har

Someday it'll come to you.

At least, that's what we all hope for.

Today I read many disturbing things. What goes on in some of these twisted human minds. What. Goes. On.

Got the best image too. A confused one.

Feb. 22 '05
counselor.