I

am so lost.

Here I am, minding my own business, reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, and it hits me:

I am screwed. I really am.
I have shitty college grades, I have no idea what to do with my life...I have no money.

I've got to pull myself together. Really. I mean...what do I do?

I obviously don't have the intelligence required to become a medical doctor, that much I know (per as to my aforementioned less than wonderful grades).

I really need some help.

If only there was like this great big answer box I could just pick out of. Wait, no. That wouldn't be good either. Because what if I got something I didn't want?

I just don't know.

ww

Slow-ly:
Stark against the deep
blue-green of the grass,
the sky it
reverberates, the
sound of my light and
the voice it was there getting
older
growing
brighter
being
lighter,
it was the sky and
the sea;
I could see
the lake, iridescent
effervescent
these kids want
to get older
still weighted by
the ever
present breeze.

Today's

song/video:

AMAZING. That's all I have to say. Decide for yourself.

Music truly felt.



Beautiful.

FREE DAY

Sort of. I got to nap after my EIGHT AM FINAL, which hopefully I aced. I feel like I did really well.

Alright. Well I'm not really in the writing mood, HOWEVER, I do have some treats for ya'll.


I've been on No Doubt all day (and Madonna, surprisingly haha), so I thought I'd share the two tracks that I'm really into right now.









I also listened to this one today. Don't have it on my library or ipod so I'll let you check it out too. Classic.

IF

there is anything I hate in this world more than anything, it's

FINALS.

I do dear wish I had more maxi.

ok

my last post came out badly.

to clarify; i burn, i pine, and i perish for:

a fixie. ah-mazing to ride.





a nixon watch!



these awesome lacoste shoes (which are on their way!)



this brixton hat



charlotte casiraghi's amazing dress (and style)



and of course, rupert grint. (sigh)

So over

I burn, I pine, I perish!


Currently lusting for:






and last but not least:

in the AM

life just stops making sense after a while.

blocked.

We small children in this world,
How we yearn to reach across the face of the earth
To trample through the wild expanses
To possess that which cannot be possessed
How we seek any ideal!

For this passion is in no way denied
But rather sprung forth from the fountains
Of eternal youth
It's existence is ours
There for those who seek
That which is to be found

But how the pain of truth
Transposes itself toward the back
Of one's fragile nape
Becomes whole in it's utter atrocity

In no way can this be
Altered
Oh red expanse,
We seek to find the truth
Reach not the error of our ways
In its stead we reach
That which is untrue and unmade
Wholly that of
A burst of sun
Spark'd through that dense field
of green.

No longer can we see
That which remained unseen.

---

Why must I not simply do
That which I desire?

Why must my ever-present state
Be consumed with thoughts
Of that which I must do
rather than what I burn to do?

Oh obligation
How you unnerve
me

and my joie de vivre.

Or am I simply
a failure
Who cannot seem to reach
That high-up pinnacle
of completion?

Led on by bursts of
life and destruction?

oh but what a fickle being I am.

strange?

This is how I feel right now.

It's always so incredible the way a song can describe your emotions better than words can sometimes, better than even the look on your face. You just feel it in you.

Seeing as how I can't concentrate on my Comparative Lit paper, I've decided to take a minor study break and write in here instead. I'm due either way, and I can't really concentrate. Argh. See? That's how bad it is. Repeating myself.

So you may ask, what is it that has so captured my attention that I cannot even manage a single sentence or proper paragraph? Well I won't be so explicit in my detailing of the aforementioned event, but suffice it to say that it was extremely uncomfortable and strange.

Just listen to the song.

haha